Meet the Middleton's? Sorry I'm Busy Down Pit

Loved Chanel 4's documentary Meet The Middleton's.

As regular readers will probably of fathomed  I adore telly that riles me. That makes me want to throw something, something very far, very hard and in the direction of that most annoying of boxes.

Channel 4 didn't disappoint. The whole programme was basically laughing at some pretty normal folk who happened to be, albeit distantly, related to the young Kate Middleton.

Kate, we learnt, that although went to £29k a year Marlborough School, is actually not from 'old money'. Yes, I know, isn't it funny. In fact here we have a very distant relation to the near-royal working in a, wait for the punchline folks, a co-op. Mwah mwah mwah.

We also learnt - now you're going to really wet yourself at this one - that some of Kate's family live in the, hold onto your sides kids, the North East. That's right, I know, hysterical. That's the North East where the girls go out without coats and knickers when it's too cold for the gritter lorries down in London. I mean, can you imagine? She's the future Queen and she has relatives in, how do I pronounce it again? Ah yes, "The North East".

The problem is with documentaries like this is they're clearly made by people nearer the Marlborough School end of the social class system than those "who actually went to comprehensive schools" that we're supposed to be sneering at. And the majority of us at home, frankly are not.

For those of you more sensible than I who probably see a trailer for something and think "shit, that looks annoying, I won't watch that" and didn't catch it - to cut a laboriously long, unremarkable and tedious story short Kates' grandmother was a 'social climber' aspiring to be 'upwardly mobile'. She was determined to 'get on' she 'married well'. Had she been alive today she'd have undoubtedly been waltzing with glee, cracking open fine champagne (definitely not brown ale) and rubbing her hands at the ultimate success of her family.

Yuk. I'm actually writing this rather early in the morning and feeling faintly nauseaus. I think it's the whole class thing that's bothering me. In my own family, my Dad's side at least, they were all privately educated, belonged to sailing clubs, said "rah rah" quite a lot and generally were the antithesis class wise of Kate's Step-Uncle-Twice-Removed that we saw working in a chippie.

So we're old money. Actually, we're one better than that, we're "no money". Yes my family's 'downwardly mobile'. Oh isn't it fabulous! What will be really funny is if Charles goes the whole hog and works in a co-op, or perhaps, yes lets really set our sights high, an Aldi.